i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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