but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
