every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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