I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
