just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
