her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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