I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
