I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
