Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
