and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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