it wasn't lemon gatorade
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
