guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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