He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
