the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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