found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
