it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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