We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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