im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
