A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
