who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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