That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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