so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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