I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
