I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
