thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
