I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I still have a little drunk in my system
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
