it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
