we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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