Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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