That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
