I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
