I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
