Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if only i could text you this smell
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
