dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
