it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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