I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
