Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i think i have two assholes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
