Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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