He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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