Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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