It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
