That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
