he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We left an ass print on the piano.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
