y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
