Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
