I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
