I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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