maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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