I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
