I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
